What is Partner Yoga and Why Practice It?

Wow! Life is wonderful!  And how much more so when you share it with someone. Sunsets are beautiful…but how much sweeter are they when you watch them with a loved one?

Yoga is wonderful…and it is even more magical when you share the practice with a partner. Yoga works on many levels, and is a journey of discovery, of ourselves and our interdependence. Each one of us is a whole universe to be explored through this practice.

In partner yoga we connect to each other in new and fun ways, we touch and are touched, we stretch farther than usual with our partner’s help, balance in ways we could not by ourselves, breathe deeply together and dive into tranquility while we stare into each other’s eyes.

A partner yoga class can be a romantic experience… or just a way for family or friends to connect or simply to make yoga a more fun practice.

Yoga

Yoga is an ancient science which helps to create health and well-being by building awareness, strength, and flexibility in both mind and body.   Yoga is an egalitarian practice, bestowing its benefits on every practitioner, regardless of his or her physical abilities.   Yoga poses, or asanas, are practiced by people of all ages and in many different states of health and fitness.

Practitioners have long attested to the benefits of yoga including stress and pain relief, improved circulation and digestion, better body alignment, increased concentration, deeper, more relaxed breathing, and a sense of well-being and inner peace.

Many studies have proved that yoga helps to:

• Harmonize cardiovascular rhythms (Bernardi 2001)
• Improve memory (Naveen 1997)
• Improve symptoms of neurological disorders (Panjwani 1997)
• Alleviate asthma (Khanam 1996)
• Treat mental health disorders (Shannahoff-Khalsa and Beckett 1996)
• Increase motor performance in kids of all ages (Telles 1993)

The only way to experience the freedom and peace of mind yoga gives is of course to actually practice it.

To really have deep transformative effects yoga should be practiced at least three times a week; but if you can insert yoga even once a week into your demanding schedule that’s already infinitely better then not doing it at all.

Yoga poses move our bodies in all possible ways; they make us bend forward and back, twist and bend to the sides, flex and extend, work with strength and with releasing, invert, move fast and slow, move with coordination and balance…

Standing poses strengthen our legs and improve our stability, alignment, balance and grace.  Forward bends stretch our legs, our spine and nervous system and help us to be calm and peaceful inside.  Back bends make us more supple and open, they help to open our chest and heart, they build our confidence and are very energizing.  Twisting and side bending poses tone and massage inner organs and help release nervous tension.

Partner and group poses increase cooperation, teamwork, trust, friendship and awareness of ourselves and others. And like all the yoga methodologies, they give us tools we can take with us and use in all kinds of everyday situations.

Yoga is a holistic practice, with an inner as well as an outer focus.  But most importantly, it can be and should be fun!

How Partner Yoga is Different

“Traditional” yoga is an individual practice, but this new yoga is a way to expand our hearts and minds to include another person.  In some parts of the class the practice becomes a communal one… it is community yoga.

If in the “old” yoga we withdrew within ourselves to find this inner joy discusses in the yoga scriptures, in this new yoga we learn to expand ourselves and discover that yes, happiness is within but it is also all around us.  The more we expand ourselves to include others, the more fun and meditative the feeling is.  Contraction is limiting and narrowing while expansion is freeing.

This is also where Tantra can come into the picture… in Tantra we learn to see our partner (and eventually everyone) as the God or the Goddess; we worship them with our body, each one of our senses, and with our mind.

Life is relationship, and those who have mastered the art of communication have mastered life.  In partner yoga we learn to communicate in non-verbal ways (we communicate verbally too) through which we can many time connect on deeper and more profound levels.

In any relationship we serve as each other’s mirrors; we can see our reflection in the other and better understand ourselves.  In partner yoga there is constant feedback between partners; as someone helps us to stretch, we not only enjoy a fantastic sensation, we also learn how to help them stretch in a better way.  As we experience our partner’s touch we learn how to touch them. As we watch them listening and responding to our sensations, we learn to listen and act in response to theirs.

The Benefits of Partner Yoga

We live in a fast moving world… so partner yoga is a great way to spend quality time together, enjoying a fun and healthy activity.  Practicing yoga together helps strengthen the bonds between a couple, while supporting each other and having fun.  These classes are especially pleasurable when taught as a private class.

Partner yoga is a great way to bring two people together because in relationships everything is reciprocal: the more we respect, our partner the more they respect us; the more we give, the more we get; the more we listen, the more we are being listened to.   Even one or two hours of practicing consciously in a partner yoga class can serve as a great bridge over gaps that were created in the past.

In partner yoga classes we spend most of our time touching each other.  Touch is the strongest and simplest way of giving and receiving love, support, warmth and trust.  Babies who don’t receive touch do not survive, and kids and even adults who don’t receive enough touch might suffer from different emotional or mental challenges as well.

By practicing asana together, we learn how to touch, how to be gentle and kind, we learn acceptance and compassion, how to be respectful and trusting, and how to connect, communicate, and cooperate.  It’s a great opportunity to open the heart and overcome past conflicts, as well as create new friendships.

When we stretch together we can:

• Stretch further than usual
• Practice balance and counterbalance skills
• Move with more awareness, realizing that our movements affect our partner
• Get a constant feedback to our actions by communicating with our partner as well as by experiencing how it feels when they stretch us
• Enhance communication skills using words, facial expressions, touch, breath and even thoughts
• Develop trust and compassion
• Touch and be touched in a safe way
• Deepen our connection to our partner/parent/child/friend

Partner Yoga:

• improves strength and flexibility
• increases self confidence and builds a positive self-image
• increases emotional strength
• nourishes creativity
• helps to balance body and mind
• teaches self-acceptance and self-love
• increases sensory awareness and also general body awareness
• builds coordination and balance
• expands self-awareness, and awareness of others
• develops self-discipline and self-control
• helps build concentration
• helps us to stand more erect and feel taller by supporting a long and flexible spine
• fortifies all bodily systems: the skeletal, nervous, circulatory, digestive, respiratory, hormonal and muscular systems
• increases awareness of breathing and deepens the breath
• is non competitive
• encourages cooperation and teamwork
• teaches how to relax and reduce stress
• Encourages compassion, generosity, and respect
• teaches how to find inner peace
• is fun!!!

There are not many activities available for partners to do together, and Partner Yoga is very special, because it provides a rare opportunity for both to be really present with each other… no duties, no kids, no cell phones… pure bliss!

And also…  Partner Yoga can be used to improve sexuality by (inspired by Corinne Friesen):

• Deepening the connection you feel with your partner
• Improve your own understanding of yourself and your partner
• Put you more in harmony with your own body and mind and so, make you a better partner
• Help you cultivate and maintain emotional and physical balance
• Keep you fit and healthy so that you’re more able  ; )
• Allow you to get into some very interesting positions!

Yoga believes that all paths will lead to the top of the mountain – the highest goal of yoga – unity with the divine in all.  What a pleasurable way it is to reach that goal being truly present with our partner…in body, mind and spirit.

Partner Yoga and Tantra

While Tantra is strongly associated with sex its definition is much broader.  Tantric teachings are ancient Hindu and Buddhist doctrines revolving around the fundamental teaching that spiritual attitude can be applied to any aspect of life.  Tantra encourages letting go of all the habits we have at looking at things in a certain way, and feeling our oneness with everything.

The word Tantra in Sanskrit literally means “weave”, denoting continuity.  It also means “to manifest, to expand, to show.”  In this context, everything, including sex, is thought to expand consciousness and to weave together the polarities of male (Shiva), and female (Shakti), into a harmonious whole.  The word Tantra also applies to any of the scriptures (called “Tantras”) commonly identified with the worship of Shakti, or the feminine energy in the universe.

Tantra means expansion through awareness, transformation through pleasure. It really means that your whole being is expanded, increased through awareness of your senses, feelings, energy etc.

Love is the goal and the journey of Tantra.  It sees the body as a temple… a temple in which all acts of love and pleasure are sacred.  Tantra is about acceptance, rather than denial.  Many spiritual traditions reject the physical body in order to achieve union with the spirit.  They think that matter is an obstacle in their pursuit for the spirit, but Tantra has a different approach.  In Tantra we do not repel the body, we do not mortify it, we do not condemn it in any way, we do not even ignore the body.  Instead we use it to experience life – To be truly ALIVE!

Tantra wants you to be living.  As living as the trees, as living as the rivers, as living as the sun and the moon.  That is your birthright.  It’s all about freedom!  We live our life merely surviving… what about really THRIVING?

What’s the use of all the spiritual practices we do if inside we feel dead?  If we are not happy, light and free? This is why people need to awaken their sensuality, their fire, their passion for life, and the capacity of experiencing orgasms – not for the sake of pleasure, but because sensuality is a divine gift that can be used to reconnect to ourselves – To life.

Western culture sees ecstasy as a result of prayer, faith and pure living.  It has a difficult time with the concept of ecstasy coming from, and through, sexuality, intimacy and bodily pleasure.  Yet many cultures, from the past and even the present, hold sexual expression as divinely inspired.  Tantric philosophy teaches that love is a profound vehicle to conscious, ecstatic living.  The passion of sexuality is a form of prayer, especially when you discover the ways to make it even more like a prayer.

Hot, erotic, passionate, intimate, slow, deep, hot sex is prayer.  And you can make your ‘worship’ a lot more soulful and lasting by increasing your knowledge of all things sexual.  It is your birthright to have as much pleasure as you can handle!  We were given so many nerve endings, in just the right places, how could we ever think we weren’t meant to have lots of pleasure?

Learn to ask for what you need and desire in a mindful, positive manner.  This kind of communication will help you get ahead in all the areas of your life, including the bedroom.  Compassionately help your partner learn to ask for what they want.

Tantra teaches us to be light-hearted, play and feel carefree.  Don’t be afraid of your inner Wild Woman or Wild Man!  Passionately express yourself!  What have you got to lose, anyway?  Life is too short to be on-guard all of the time.  Let go and do something crazy today!

Tantra can be many things.  It can be a way to rekindle love and passion in a long-term relationship.  It can also be a mystical way to the spiritual growth and enlightenment.  Or it can be just a way to a better and more fulfilling sexual life.  All these are right ways to practice Tantra.  Tantra fits for many purposes and needs.  Saving a relationship, or mystical experiences, both are equally important goals.  And maybe you will find out that Tantra can give you both.

Tantra, as we see it, is totally open and free.  You can do it in your own way, you can follow your own heart, and for you that way will be the right way.

Tantra and Sex:

One part of Tantra is sacred sexuality.  When something is sacred to us, we treat it carefully, with reverence.  In Tantra the body and our sexual energies are considered divine, and are treated as a holy instrument for connecting to each other, to life, and to the One Interconnected Reality where we may find liberation, peace, power, confidence and love.  By recognizing sexuality as sacred, people tend to put more effort into their relationships, creativity and love making.

Sexual energy is the only type of energy that you can generate in your body without the addition of an external material substance.  To generate all other types of energy you have to bring something from outside into your body such as food or air.  Sexual energy has this remarkable quality of seeming to ‘generate something from nothing’.  Most people have experienced this feeling during and after orgasm.

“Whatever thoughts are in their minds, they vanish completely with the onslaught of passionate embrace.  When a man and woman are all in oneness, thus clasped together, there is nothing in the whole world to surpass the superb joy of that moment.” –The Kama Sutra

When you are passionate, when you generate sexual energy, you become totally present – you connect directly to that huge reserve of energy that’s all around you in the universe.

In Tantra we work with relaxation, grounding and expanding our energies.  We use the body through movement, breath and energy work to delve deeper into our joy and pleasure.  We also use our mind, through being present, meditating, visualizing and gazing at our partner to discover ourselves through each other.

In the Tantric model, the sexual experience is seen as a dance with no beginning or end.  There is no goal, only the present moment of exquisite union.  For this reason, lovemaking is meditative, expressive and intimate.  Tantra teaches lovers how to extend the peak of their sexual ecstasy so that women and men can experience several orgasms in a single sexual encounter.  Tantric practice also means treating your body and your partner’s body as sacred.  Sexual ecstasy is seen as a divine feeling and love making as an art that involves special skills.

Tantra is also health enhancing.  “Sexual energy is one of our most powerful energies for creating health,” says Christiane Northrup, M.D., (author of “Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom).  “By using sexual energy consciously… we can tap into a true source of youth and vitality.”  “Through the intimate connection with another, our stress hormones lower and our serotonin shoots through the roof.”

In the tantric opinion, orgasm is a benefit state of expanded consciousness in which the usual limits of the being are spontaneously dropped, the limits of the mind are abolished and a person plunges and merges into the divine, which is an ocean of bliss.

When one lives the orgasm, a Tantric orgasm, he/she discovers with amazement the state of abandoning one’s self to the ecstatic experience, the “death” of the ego, the dissolution of time and space, the unifying state of contraries.  All these effects make the state of orgasm identical with the state of spiritual bliss.  For this very reason, in Tantra, the state of spiritual illumination is also named the “Cosmic Orgasm”.

This state of trance causes endorphins to rush into the body.  It causes the mind to relax from stressful occupations.  It creates a psychological distance between the everyday experience and the emotions, which creates space for intellectual perspective and emotional shifts.  It also creates a sense of being a part of something greater than oneself because the perspective becomes expansive and includes all that is.  All inner barriers are dropped.  A mind in a trance, doesn’t need them… in fact they are in the way of the trance.  It puts a color and sense of holiness on the mundane things in life.  It puts one in touch with the soul…  And we do it all by making love – Sounds good?

Like in all paths of yoga, what makes it spiritual or not, and even what makes it work or not, lies in your intention.  Too often, people underestimate the power of intention. Your mental focus is the most important element to any experience, including a sexual experience.

By focusing on your breathing, you can change your mental focus and clear your mind of other thoughts.  Using your thoughts you can also create certain flows of energy.  But the most important factor will always be your intention.  If you choose to bring every facet of your being to the sexual encounter – if you don’t experience a separation between your sexual self and your spiritual self – then sex and spirituality will occur together naturally.

Sexual Tantra is not really about just having sex, although you may end up doing that a lot .  It is about exploring this communion between the male (Shiva) and female (Shakti) manifestations in order to reverse genesis.  In other words, from One there came many (in this case 2) and in Sexual Tantra, via sex, Shiva and Shakti merge so that the many return to One.